Christmas in the south has its own regional character. Folks in the south are used to being poor, but everyone does it up right for the holidays. One of my neighbors has again put his prized camouflaged 4x4 hunting truck up on ramps, decorated it with lights, and put Santa behind the wheel so it looks like it's taking off into the night. Two weeks early, too. Across town some joker has advertised a shoot your own Christmas tree farm, where one can both buy and harvest your own tree and also participate in a holiday turkey shoot (an ancient southern tradition combining our obsession with firearms and holiday cheer – it's a competitive shoot where the winners take home frozen turkeys and hams. I am not making this up. I could not make this up.)Any mention of the South that fails to include the premium-grade trash like gifts of college football garters and coffins and Santa-on-ATV ornaments and Biker Santas is a fraud! I call shenanigans! Terry Mancour, if that is your real name, you failed to capture the spirit of a Southern Christmas. Might I point you in the right direction?In the absence of regular snow, the holidays are filled with tractor-pulled hay rides, Moravian candle-teas, hyper-tacky drive-through living nativity scenes and a seasonal menu that belies south's reputation for chic poverty cuisine. Due to our long cultural tradition of relative poverty, the Christmas season has always been a special time of excess and celebration for southerners, and it shows during the seasonal parties. The old southern church ladies have Christmas recipes that they jealously guard and only prepare (in the strictest secrecy) to be savoured but once a year. Bourbon balls and pecan confections are as much a part of our holiday as Christmas pudding and crackers are to y'all.
He'd offer two "Ho's", but he's still not over the SEC Championship game.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment