Giving Thanks

I'm back at home for a few days for the Thanksgiving break. I don't know how much time will be available for posting, so don't expect a bevy of info and insight. I am going to the Whistling Pines Gun Club today (President Obama's on the way, boys. Shoot 'em while you got 'em. Gunz W000!), so if there's some quality video or photos, I'll post.

In case I don't post this week, I think it would be appropriate to leave this becoming-viral video at the top. This is a soldier returning home from 14 months in Iraq. Witness true thanksgiving:



I wish every one of the men and women who've served could receive such a welcome.

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!

A Fresh Helping of Hate

There's so much happening in the world, so many things to comment on and report, but I reject all such worldly distractions. I come to you today singing a single note:

"In War: Resolution.



In Defeat: Defiance." -- W. Churchill



"I always made one prayer to God, a very short one. Here it is: "O Lord, make our enemies quite ridiculous!" God granted it." -- Voltaire



Boys, win this one for the long suffering fans everywhere, like this brave young man from the belly of the beast:

Rest easy, my son. You've got a whole life of gainful employment awaiting you, unlike your classmates.

There is truly nothing redeeming about these people:




They are a blight upon my planet. Every tear they shed is a drop of joy in my cup.

I leave you with Capt. Picard addressing the faithful:



Amen, and amen.

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

I couldn't find a way to describe it until now. In the past week, as the Big 3 subsidy has risen as the first post-election news of import, I've had a familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I couldn't place my finger on why it was familiar.

It's the feeling of Michiganomics.

Not the school, peace be upon it, the state. The panic over possible closings, insistent hands thrust in the face of government cheese dispensers, discussion of union reform, all of these kinds of events have been par for the course for The Wolverine State over the past 30 years. When you are a political/economics nerd in the state, you grow used to the culture. I did.

But I've moved out, moved back to Colorado. I'll have been gone from Michigan for 1 year this December, and already I've forgotten the feelings: the malaise (to quote a terrible president), the shallow seeds of hope that are perpetually being uprooted by a world racing over and past its ancestor. If I were to describe the feeling in a 1,000 words:

(H/T: At Detroit)

This week has been revelatory. I see Nardelli, Waggoner, Mullaly, Gettelfinger, and Stabenow in front of Congress, first pleading for assistance, then demanding help in a voice that betrayed the fear behind the words. I've seen this before, I tell myself. On Facebook I see the status update: "If President Bush bailed out New Orleans, why doesn't he bail out Detroit? He's turning his back on Michigan." This kind of statement, patently naive as it is, still echoes the man's real emotions, his confusion and disillusionment with the treadmill of pain he knows as "life in Michigan."

I see all this stuff, and it reminds me of Michigan. It reminds me of the pains and pleasures I observed every day over 3 years. But I'm the rarity out here in the West. I guarantee that most people in my neighborhood have no emotional connection with the Rust Belt area, and as far as they are concerned, American automakers were dead years ago. Besides, they'll ask, Toyota's are made in Kentucky, aren't they? Screw Detroit. They'd be right, of course. You couldn't walk them down the streets of the Midwest and point out the dilapidated 1950's grandeur in every building. You couldn't describe to them the smell of a holiday dinner put on the table by a man who's entire essence was tied to two letters on a blue rectangle. I'm not sure that it would make a difference any way.

Out here in the West, life is an entirely different species of beast. It's as if we've evolved from the cities and lives of the Midwest into a world that's more...alive, I guess. I don't think my 15 year old brother is even familiar with the idea of a union, or with high unemployment. Hell, I don't think my 22 year old brother has any actual experience with that blight. It's one thing to see Wolf Blitzer show a picture of a desolate street or corrupt city, it's another to see friends, with tears in their eyes, move away from the land of their childhood in the search of a better job and better life.

Now the rest of the country's learning about that world, and I'm not sure that's good. This is one kind of problem that 'awareness' rarely helps. Michigan needs to break free, start afresh, rather than try to rescue itself.

What I saw during the hearings this week was 4 men and a woman who are trying to convince their countrymates that their industry (and region) were worthy of saving. Perhaps this time they convinced enough bureaucrats to get the money to stave off death for another year, but I know they haven't convinced their fellow citizens. Don't fight the end, Detroit. We can start again.

No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

-Samuel Beckett

Kathleen Parker and the Oogedy-Boogedy Monster in Her Closet.

Kathleen Parker thinks the conservative evangelical Christian influence in the Republican party is to blame for the failings of the GOP and conservatism. Well, she doesn’t actually call them that. In her Post column, she chooses to describe the “gorilla in the pulpit”, Christians, as “right-wing oogedy-boogedy” types, a phrase deemed too childish and reductive by Air America Radio.

It’s unfortunate that she wrote such a juvenile column (all content aside), because Parker’s column deserves a look for a few reasons, and not simply so people can see a prime example of pandering and self-loathing. Let's turn it around, shall we...

...How do I know this? How can I be so sure that she’s desperately trying to fit in to the Beltway culture of lukewarm Episcopalianism? Because I know Washington elites. I’ve worked with some in D.C., I’ve been raised amongst grandparents of the same cloth as William F Buckley, these are the waters I swim in, man. I know these people. I mean, if the name “Snowden” doesn’t say “see you at the fox hunt on Saturday?” nothing does.

I know that so few D.C.-Republicans are asking “Why are Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, et al. so popular yet the GOP lost?”, but let me clue them in to the answer: it’s because many of us in the rest of America are convinced that those hosts are sympathetic to “Joe the Plumber” types and not merely using us as a political flock which is directed and instructed by a few elegant shepherds.

There’s not a sneaking suspicion that Rush Limbaugh is tired of hearing playful barbs about the “snake-handlin’ rubes” in conservatism by fellow journalists while having drinks at the Mayflower Hotel. No one worries that Dennis Prager is okay with “religious” people but gets creeped out by the passionate ones who believe that the Bible says more than just “make sure you have a white wedding and everyone is well-dressed at your child’s christening.”…

Even after writing those last three ill-conceived paragraphs, even after making massive generalizations about a nuanced people group, even after all the poorly-hidden scorn, even then I wrote with more equanimity for Beltway residents than Parker wrote for evangelicals. But that’s doesn’t matter as much as the fact that I knew I was being unfair. There is nothing in Parker’s writing to signal that she’s even aware of her insularity. At least when reading Christopher Hitchens one is left with the feeling that the man is at least familiar with the positions he chooses to eviscerate.

Pundits often have to answer the charge of “being out-of-touch” from disgruntled readers. My complaint, however, isn’t based on a personal grievance, that an author is unfamiliar with my specific life details. I’m no apologist for Dr. Dobson. In the past few years I’ve taken several large steps away from the evangelical Religious Right, the culture of my childhood and teens (let’s put it this way: I wouldn’t vote Mike Huckabee for Dogcatcher). I don’t listen to “Christian” music. I don’t care much for the “culture” of safe movies and chastity rings beloved by many church parents. But I don’t consider conservative evangelicals, as Parker puts it, “the lowest brows” of the party. There might be some evangelicals who lack intellectual curiosity, but I can think of several GOP constituencies that have fewer crayons in their boxes (“The South Was Right” crowd comes to mind). The evangelical community is vast to the point of defying most descriptions. Good grief, Obama is an evangelical.

Parker knows this. Her complaint isn’t with the Obama-style evangelicals, yet she never quantifies the types of Christians she dislikes beyond playground rhetoric. “Low brows” is one jab in the litany of thinly insinuated complaints Parker has with the ill-defined “oogedy-boogedy” party. She writes sentence after sentence of what the GOP is not, attackin evangelicals by proxy. According to Parker, the GOP suffers because it is white, married, and Christian, while the country is becoming less of each.

Is there a memo I missed? Did Dr. Dobson mail out a missive saying “round up the single Jews and the Blacks!!”? Look, I have big, repeat BIG, problems with Focus on the Family, but only a stultifying idiot like Bill Maher would claim that the man is anti-minority or anti-single. One of the most amusing moments of this past campaign was the media’s initial attempt to smear Palin with revelations of her first pregnancy coming before marriage, both for herself and her daughter's, and the press's following confusion that the Palins’ reputation wasn’t injured but instead burnished by the story. It was as if they said: “Why aren’t evangelicals disappointed? Don’t they hate single mothers and sex outside of marriage?” Sorry to disappoint, MSNBC.

Evangelicals, by and large, are some of the most tolerant people around. They want to practice their personal faith as they interpret it. It's the secular types and "moderate" Christians who want to rein in the evangelicals. I'm convinced that 90% of the people who are uncomfortable with evangelicals have rarely or never met one. All they ever hear is their peers deploring the Christian Right which makes the Christians even more deplorable, &c. This recursive crap-flinging soon creates a boogie monster (an oogedy-boogedy monster, perhaps?) that has no basis in experience.

As a personal example, let's talk about the dreaded gay issue. I’m again outside the evangelical camp on the idea of marriage, libertarian-ish as I am, but I don’t know a single evangelical (dreaded anti-gays that they are) who thinks homosexuality should be banned. They vote against gay marriage because they view marriage as a fundamentally religious institution, and if the state makes it acceptable for gay marriage the state is imposing a secular worldview upon their faiths. Yet most evangelicals I meet are for civil unions (And, if you’ll notice, Ms. Parker, part of the fab-riots happening in California is gays outraged at evangelical Black votes for Prop 8.).

I’ll close this out by quoting from the column:

“Meanwhile, it isn't necessary to evict the Creator from the public square, surrender Judeo-Christian values or diminish the value of faith in America. Belief in something greater than oneself has much to recommend it, including most of the world's architectural treasures, our universities and even our founding documents.”

I think that statement, besides being nauseatingly patronizing, show just how much religion Parker can stand: a cross on top of a pretty building, a nice quote from the Bible atop a college library (in Latin, please!), and historical context for those famous dead people, the Founding Fathers. I mean, they were Christians, but what did they ever do?

A Long Trail of Fail

What happened to Detroit? How could it go from entrenched industry leader to wheezy little brother in less than half a century? There are numerous reasons for the decline, but it's correct to state that it was not based on the credit collapse, on the rise of a Prius, or on any other singular moment. Neither Rome nor Detroit were built or destroyed in a day. The decline was comprised of hundreds of poorly conceived plans, weak-willed compromises, and short-sighted policies.

U.S. News's Chief Business Correspondent, Rick Newman, has a list titled "10 Cars That Sank Detroit" on his blog. It's a great quick read. Besides taking the reader down Memory-of-My-Crappy-Car-Lane, Newman's list also is useful as a collection of cars that were the product of multiple mistakes. A "Who's Who" of Corporate Fail, if you will. Follow me as we pick over the bones...

(quotes in italics)

- Ford Pinto - This ill-fated subcompact came to epitomize the arrogance of Big Auto. Ford hurried the Pinto to market in the early 1970s to battle cheap imports like the Volkswagen Beetle that were selling for less than $2,000.

So, first stop on the list is a car that first came off the line in 1970. "Wait!" you're exclaiming, "I thought that "fuel efficiency" was what caused the collapse of Detroit!" Not so fast, my friend. The Pinto, now recognized to be a disaster, was a lazy and bloated corporation's response to foreign competition*. Up to this point in America, the only real competition for "average" consumers was other American manufacturers. Foreign cars at this point (like Jaguar, BMW, Mercedes) were luxury vehicles.

So when Toyota and Volkswagen began importing cars, what happened? Detroit arrogantly put out a p.o.s. that's message was, "Screw it. We know this is poorer quality than our competitors, but we don't care. Heck, we'll even throw in an exploding fuel tank, and then refuse to acknowledge its a problem! Why? Because you'll still buy it, Joe America. You'll buy it because it's American. You'll buy it because it's your patriotic duty." This appeal to loyalty has sway with many Americans at first, but even for many patriots, this was too much:



Unfortunately for Detroit, exploding-rear-fuel-tanks stop at the water's edge, and the first 'loyal-to-imports' consumer was born.

- Chevrolet Astro - While Chrysler, Toyota, and Honda were refining their minivans in the 1990s and coming up with innovations like hideaway seats and electric sliding doors, GM was offering an old, truck-based van gussied up with carpeting and cupholders. . . Before long, GM was effectively out of the minivan segment. No biggie—those were just mainstream American families the automaker decided to ignore.*

Rick Newman has already beaten me to much of the snark with this most-excellent summary, but fear not. There's more to mock, and I'll press on until every wisecrack has a home.

- Jaguar X-Type - Ford bought the British luxury brand Jaguar in 1990, when all three Detroit automakers were seeking ways to expand their global reach. Eventually, Ford decided to build an entry-level Jaguar starting at around $30,000 for people looking to move up from, say, a Mercury Marquis. The down-market move "represented everything that Jaguar is not," says Libby of J. D. Power.

See, here's the thing: Jaguar was always a luxury brand, and Ford was always a "consumer" brand. They aren't writing books titled "Henry Ford: The Genius Behind the Luxury Car." He was the father of the "Affordable Car". So when Ford, drunk with profits from trucks and several sedans, could've spent the money reinvesting into improving their already popular products, they instead chose to buy up a brand that had zero-overlap with their current base.* Ford always was "everything that the Jaguar was not", and they were idiots for thinking so.

Ford then followed one foot into the cow-patty with the other, and built a Jaguar that was simply the Jag label on a Ford body. Really. The leaders in Dearborn, in an attempt to create a "middle-class luxury car", simply put some metal on the Ford Mondeo body (better known as the Ford Contour in the U.S.), dusted off their hands, and asked "Who wants one?" You can predict the results from this half-cocked development plan*.

- Chrysler Sebring - Did Chrysler engineers set out to build the world's most boring car? Of course not. Yet Chrysler still produces this blandmobile to keep assembly lines running*(emphasis mine --S.) and maintain a presence, however weak, in the sedan market. . .

. . . and . . .

- Jeep Compass - Quick, what's the difference between the Jeep Compass, the Jeep Liberty, and the Jeep Patriot? The bosses at Chrysler, which owns Jeep, could explain, but the real answer is that Chrysler has oversaturated its strongest brand lineup in a desperate attempt to boost sales... "The Compass is not needed," says James Bell of Intellichoice.com. "Just the Liberty, please." The Compass has the same mechanical underpinnings as the Dodge Caliber, which helps illustrate one of Detroit's favorite tricks: Create multiple versions of every product under a bunch of different brand names, hoping that if buyers shun one, they'll take a more favorable view of another.* Message to Detroit: Consumers aren't that stupid. Give them a bit more credit, and you might have a future.

Rick Newman, FTW. Few industries are as besieged by overreaching unions than Detroit automakers. For years the unions have managed to hoist plans and policies on the Big 3 leadership that most Americans would find egregiously onerous. That doesn't absolve corporate leadership from this fisking, but it is an added burden on the companies to be in constant fear of employee uprising.

Example? Example.

The job bank plan. Never heard of it? You're not alone, as I'm sure all but UAW and automotive observers are unfamiliar with it. Allow me to explain the policy and its creation in a short story:

Long long ago, machines called computers and robots were being invented. They could do many things, like weld steel, turn screwdrivers, and install stereos. The men of the villages of Flint and Dearborn, men who had welded steel, turned screwdrivers, and installed stereos for decades, didn't much care for these newfangled job-stealers. Since these men all belonged to the same gang, they told their warlord: "Sir, our jobs are threatened. Help us, you're our only hope!" The warlord heard the pleas and was moved. He donned his fiercest strike-threatening armor and rode his trusty team of Teamster warhorses to the headquarters of the companies. Threatening the leaders with chaos, pickets, and empty assembly lines, the warlord commanded that the companies, if they were to install these robots, were not allowed to release the men who's jobs had been replaced. No, the leaders were required to keep paying the welders, screwdriver-turners, and stereo-installers their full wage even if they weren't working. This way, the warlord said, the leaders would be forced to find new jobs for the sad old workers. The leaders, ever desirous of peace, foolishly agreed to the bargain.

Yup. The Jobs Bank is a repository of fully-paid but not-working UAW employees. Ain't America great? Now, this puts pressure on the Big 3 leadership to "find things for the workers to do". The best idea they could think of? Duplicate!

Instead of just having the Chrysler Town & Voyager, we can also have the Dodge Caravan! Why just have the Chevy Tahoe when you could also have the GMC Yukon! Ford Explorer or Mercury Mariner or Lincoln Aviator? See, we named them all for adventuresome pioneers! But they are different, we promise!

-------

So to summarize: I've asterisked several overarching statements that, when combined, better show us just why the Big 3 have declined:

1. They arrogantly believed that a half-hearted response would prove successful enough to foreign competition, simply because the response would come from "America" instead of "foreigner lands".

2. GM was absolutely trend-deaf to the minivan craze of the 90's. They thought that their painters-van-with-upholstered-bench-seats would suffice. They were wrong.

3. & 4. Detroit mishandled expansion. GM chose to acquire crappy brands, Ford chose to aquire luxury brands. Both were bad ideas, but were made even worse by bone-headed arrogance and market ignorance. The X-Type, Ford? Really?

5. Because of obligations to their employees (due in no small part to anti-free-market unions), the Big 3 have had unbelievable labor costs and eye-bleedingly redundant hiring-n-firing policies.

6. The inability to fire a redundant worker, combined with clueless leadership, created a climate of repetitive brands and excess production. This lead to oversaturation of the brand and devaluation of the product. When you see 8,000 Tauruses (Tauri?) on a Enterprise Rental Car parking lot, you don't think much of the car.

Note that none of the reasons on this non-comprehensive list involve "fuel efficiency" or "green" alternatives. While a lack of high-mileage cars is in part a reason for the decline of the Big 3, it's at best 7th or 8th on the list of Thuddingly Stupid Decisions made over the past half-century.

The First Step Comes First (Duh!)

In the 12 Steps Program, before an addict can ask "the Power greater than himself" to help restore him, the man must first recognize he his powerless to his addictions. Before the Power Known As The U.S. Government steps in to help Detroit, I want to see those leaders address this addiction, and admit that it's untenable, now both in the short and long term:

(H/T: Professor Perry, who's doing yeoman's work keeping track of all the b.s. surrounding the automotive industry.)

I know that I have whatever's-way-smaller-than-zero say in this whole debacle (even though it is a certainty that my generation will have to pay for it), but I say that if Pres. Obama is has already decided to subsidize Detroit, at least make Gettelfinger and Waggoner come crawling on broken glass to get their alms.

I'm going to miss the granite countertops...

I've been gone for a few days, but while I'm still getting my stuff together, watch this and see one speculator's views on the market decline.



The sad part is? Whoever made this clip has a better grasp of the root causes than half the reporting journalists.

Meet The New Boss, Part 2

Man, I thought this would be a once-or-twice-a-month special, but looks like I was wrong:

From Congressional Quarterly:

Here’s some change that supporters of President-elect Obama may not want to see: all of the policy commitments on specific issues have been removed from his transition Web site.

On Nov. 7, global health advocates noticed that some of the details of Obama’s “fight global poverty” statement had been removed. Specifically, the site no longer promised to fully fund debt cancellation for the world’s poorest countries or provide the full U.S. contribution to the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria.

These posters are going to be a great collection someday.


You know, I wish all politicians had these make-your-own posters on their websites. It's really not a partisan thing with Obama, it's just that he's made it so easy to do.

(H/T: Geraghty at the Campaign Spot)

Meet the New Boss, Part 1

I know that I'm going to be excited when President-elect Obama will get rid of those sleazy Washington lobbyists. You know, the ones that plagued the McCain campaign leadership? The insidious fat-cats that made sure Big Oil and the like received tax breaks? President Obama won't tolera--

"Obama softens bans on lobbyists."

-- WASHINGTON - President-elect Barack Obama, who vowed during his campaign that lobbyists "won't find a job in my White House," said through a spokesman yesterday that he would allow lobbyists on his transition team as long as they work on issues unrelated to their earlier jobs.

Awww, man!



Remember,


Back to work, citizens, nothing to see here.*

*Please note that I don't really have a problem with lobbyists, as I think they are exercising what our First Amendment likes to call the "right to petition". Just pointin' out some good old-fashioned Beltway-hypocrisy.

Some British Introspection

I would normally say that the title for this newspiece, "Moaning, drinking, and queuing are what make us British" explains it all, but there's even more!

Other fundamentally British 'qualities', as voted on by Brits, include:

#38. An inability to express our emotions.

#40. Fondness for mowing the lawn.

#20. Looking uncomfortable on the dance floor.

And, in a perfect summary of a stereotype, the number one self-identified quality of "Britishness" is:

#1. Talking about the weather.

Mmm. Stereotypes.

Here's some more, courtesy of the "Japan is Craaaazy" file:

Fearless Prediction Sure To Go Wrong, 1918 Edition

Terry Teachout, critique par excellence, has a neat audio file of WWI artillery. Interesting subpoint? The man who recorded the bombing did so that future generations would learn what war was. He thought that the coming armistice would prevent war from ever happening again, see?

That he little knows the future rarely prevents man from bold predictions.

The Highest Form of Patriotism!

As a civil libertarian type, I don't care if it's a Lyndon LaRouche supporter getting his face beat in by a cop or an anti-WTO whinger being arrested for "disorderly conduct", I think it's wrong. As long as physical coercion is avoided, the right to promote or petition one's beliefs is one of the most fundamental rights that defines the United States. I know that many in the ACLU agree, so I'm sure that my left-leaning friends who spent the past few years complaining about the Police State of Dubya and the Patriot Act are going to agree with me that this video is chilling:



Mob Passions + Weak-willed social servants = Philadelphia

The PPD announced later that the man was arrested for disorderly conduct and public drunkenness. Look for yourselves, but that man seems nothing like the drunks I know. His speech isn't even slurred. I hope he sues the city and puts it even more in debt. Maybe they'll finally trim their obviously bloated law enforcement.

H/T: Ace of Spades

P.S. Imagine, if you will, it were the other way around, and a Black man wearing an Obama shirt was arrested by Salt Lake City police in front of a raging McCain-Palin mob. Think that wouldn't make the news?

The Election Did Not Reform America, It Revealed America

This is meant to be as grouch-free as possible. Please read it, charitably, as such.

I was talking with my brother a few days ago, and he raised an interesting point:

Since Obama won the Presidency last week, we've all seen countless Black men and women saying (roughly): "I can finally tell my children that anything is possible."

My brother's response? Not true. Obama actually winning the election did not effectively change the possibility of an African-American becoming president. As he put it, "if you were a Black parent with a ten-year-old son in 1971, you could tell him that he could become president, and it would have been true. He would have been a contemporary of our soon-to-be president." Interesting point

- Bouncing off that point, may I admit something? I think I'm due an admission of guilt. Why? If someone says "I always thought you [Snowden] were a real jerk until I met you,", he would need to tell me he was a) wrong or b) sorry.

Well, again over the past week, I've been hearing people say, "I always thought that America was racist/prejudiced/bigoted, but this election has changed my perspective." Great! I'm glad you've changed your mind, now just admit that you were wrong! This election was not some quick-change of the United States, rather it revealed just how far the nation has come. Is all of this too much to ask?

- I'm already sick and tired of the insufferable experts on "black"-dom that are plaguing my news channels. I'm expecting that the number will explode even more over the next few years. They don't really serve much of an informational/educational purpose, and all they can count on is to reveal just how painfully nerdy our television hosts are (I'm looking at you, Wolf).

Profiles in Stereotypes

Ripped from the headlines, sadly.

---------------

[FADE IN]

PHONE RINGS IN CORNER OFFICE OF NEARLY EMPTY NEWSPAPER ROOM. OLDER MAN, MID 60'S, WHO'S SEEN THE BETTER DAYS THIS NEWSFLOOR USED TO HAVE, RESIGNEDLY PICKS UP THE PHONE.


EXEC. EDITOR OF THE BALTIMORE SUN JAMES WHITING: Whiting here.



GOVERNOR OF LOUISIANA, BOBBY JINDAL: Hey, Mr. Whiting, this is Governor Bobby Jindal! How are ya?



Governor Jindal? Really? Wow, sir, I'm fine. To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?



Well, Jim, you don't mind if I call you Jim, do you? Anyway, Jim, I was just browsing through my inbox this morning, looking through post-election analysis, and I saw that you're paper was doing a "Future of the GOP" across-the-fold story.



Yessir, yessir. We're mighty proud of it, sir. We think it hits all the bases, is unbiased, and really pops out at the reader. I hope you don't mind that we included you in the discussion, Governor.



I'm honored, Jim, really I am. And the piece, it does pop out at you, I'll give you that. Listen, by any chance do you have a copy of that story in front of you?



Yup, right over here on my desk. [Reaches over, puling the paper open for the first time in weeks] Okay, let me turn to the page...yup, I got it.



[Gov. Jindal, ever the gracious leader, patiently waits for Jim Whiting to realize the error. After about 30 seconds of awkward silence and what sounds like Whiting tucking into a hoagie, Gov. Jindal breaks the silence]



Okay, Jim, I want you to stay with me on this one. At first glance, this piece looks great, I think we could agree.



[swallows hoagie bite and wipes mouth quickly] Well, thanks sir, that means a--



Stay with me Jim, and let me finish. Now if we allow our eyes to wander on down to the bottom right corner of the page, perhaps something will catch your eye.





Sir, I'm not quite sure what you want me to be looking for. Perhaps a hint?



Jim, I know you have a busy life, but if I might ask: have you ever actually seen a picture of me?



[finally sensing something is awry] Well, yes, Governor, of course I have! And, uh, from, uh, looking at this picture, you seem to be, uh, doing very well, sir. Very well. The picture of health, I'd say.



......



Let me ask you another question, Jim. How are things going for you at The Sun? Things going okay?



[looks around, sees two janitors, a sports reporter 80 lbs. overweight playing solitaire, and a secretary reading a Harlequin novel. Lots of empty desks covered with stacks of newspapers]
Well sir, I'm not going to lie to you, we're a little down. However, we made the phrase "More With Less" our buzz term this fiscal year, so we're running a tight ship, but I think our product is none the worse for it. I think you'd agree that this is one fine piece of political journalism, Governor?



[sighs] Well it was good talking with you, Jim. I wish you the best of luck, and when the paper closes, I hope you'll think of Louisiana as a place to relocate to for your second career.



Sir, I don't follow. Oh wait, I have a call on the other line, Governor, I'll be back in a second. Hello?



LISTEN HERE, YOU RACIST SONOFABI--

[FADE OUT]

Suntanning in America

As readers will know, I've long believed that the idea that America was more racist than other developed nations is total bunk. America doesn't have a problem with racist chants at sporting events. America doesn't have over a third of our voters self-identify as racist. No monkey noises are made at black American athletes. The only people in America who make the "slanted eyes" Chinese faces are preschoolers, not a national basketball team.

Yet the BBC has a special series on being "Black in America", as if we're some backwater nation that brutalizes our ethnic minorities.

I write all this to point out that I put very little stock in the idea that my new President finally exonerates America from its racist past. Yet when I read this story, I could understand how insulated, self-important, racist European intellectuals might be forgiven for sneering over their glasses at us Yankees: they don't know better.

When your president compliments my black president for his "suntan", Italy, I now know where to place you in relation to our own history: 1920's Louisiana sounds about right.

Promises, Promises

Just keepin' track of all the praise. I, for one, will not forget that Obama ran promising that he could do things. There will be no acceptance of "Gee, Bush screwed things up more than I thought. I need more time." Eff that. According to the press and the Left, Bush was more culpable than Clinton for the mistakes leading to 9/11, even though he had been in office for all of 9 months. Bush was more culpable for the Fannie and Freddie b.s. than Clinton. Well, Obama will be culpable for anything that happens when he's President, and his supporters have no right to dissemble.

Here's a list from Editor and Publisher surveying newspaper editorials. A highlight or two?

Highlights:

--From The New York Times:

He offered a government that does not try to solve every problem but will do those things beyond the power of individual citizens: to regulate the economy fairly, keep the air clean and the food safe, ensure that the sick have access to health care, and educate children to compete in a globalized world...

He committed himself to ending a bloody and pointless war. He promised to restore Americans’ civil liberties...

-- From The Washington Post:

He has the opportunity finally to set the country on a path to help reduce global warming. He has far-reaching plans on energy, health care and education

-- Chicago Trib:

Obama won by appealing to a deep yearning for national reconciliation and unity that spans partisan divides.

The more I find, I'll post. Just wait for it, the "cut him some slack" defense which will inevitably come from Obama's quarters. Not a chance.

The Long, Slow, Climb's First Step

Well, Jeff Flake nails it.

Let's face it: We Republicans are now, by any reasonable measurement, deep in the political wilderness.

Mmm, that's some insight.

All kidding aside, Representative Flake writes exactly what some of us younger-cons have been saying for months, going on years.

after a second straight drubbing, the House Republican leadership should be replaced. But the far more critical task is determining what standard these new leaders will bear.

Preach, Brother Flake. I actually don't mind Rep. Boehner, and I think he was truly great on standing up to Bush in the economic bailout fiasco, but House GOP'ers need more than just one guy surrounded by a bunch of milquetoast people we've never heard of. They need an aggressive, gleefully rebellious, media-savvy posse. Furthermore, the people to lead need to have a distinct message. One of the worst mistakes House GOP made was becoming the faceless body of GWB over the first 5 years of his administrations.

I suggest that we return to first principles. At the top of that list has to be a recommitment to limited government. After eight years of profligate spending and soaring deficits, voters can be forgiven for not knowing that limited government has long been the first article of faith for Republicans.

Exact-a-mundo.

RTWT, and if you care about the Right, get ready to fight like hell in the upcoming months to fight for the party leadership you want. My vote is either for Shadegg or Pence, with preference for John Shadegg because I really, really dig his healthcare stuff.

More Thoughts

- The "youth" vote did not, nor will it ever, come out in droves and change the landscape of American politics. There is no safer bet than against a "youth explosion" at the polls. Stop bringing it up, MSM, it doesn't make you look any less decrepit and unhip if you go to a college campus and ask students (some of the most self-involved people in the world) "do you think college students like yourself will make a difference in this election?" Just stop.

- I mean this in the most frustrated and literal sense: Dammit. Murtha is an ass, a lying scumbag, and a government-cheese pimp. He represents the worst of government, and that's saying something. He needed to be ousted.

- Now Ayers gives an interview. You just know that man was itching to talk during the past month. He's one of those insufferable men who lives for a soapbox, and he was forced to zip-his-lips during the most intense public scrutiny he's had in decades. The image of William Ayers stewing in his office, his fingers nervously twitching and hovering above his keyboard, desperate to "spout his wisdom" in whatever wacky chatrooms people like him inhabit, gives me no small amount of glee. Now, no one could care less what that man will say. Just so.

- John McWhorter, Obama supporter, does an admirable job of speaking truth to the canard of Obama-as-racial-savior. While I think we, societally, are beyond racism, conservatives are deluding themselves if they think that this election will wipe all talk of racism off the table. The cottage industry of "anti-racism" thugs must suffer a slow, starving, and miserable death. No swift blows.

Democrats and Black Voters: Only 'Kinda' Friends

Byron York nailed it on The Corner this morning in re: Proposition 8 in CA. This shows, to me, such a cognitive dissonance in the DNC and it's Black supporters. Basically, the Dems want to drive Black voting numbers higher for economic/historic reasons, but they are at odds with the community on social issues.

For those to lazy to click through (shame!!!), York points out that the anti-gay-marriage amendment, which looks to pass in California, was opposed by white voters 53-47. What managed to put it over the top? Black voter supported the amendment 70-30!!! That's not just a difference, that's a chasm.

What's this mean for conservatives? Take J.C. Watts advice, start fighting in the Black community for votes, start spending the time on "lost" races in urban areas, in Washington D.C.. Make a case for less government to Black men and women, show them their rooting interest in liberty. As opposed to other groups, if they can bring some economic literacy to the Black community, conservatives should enjoy a landslide to their side.

He's My President

Well, I didn't vote for the man (heck, I didn't vote for any man) but I'll stand behind* him as my leader and figurehead:



*Note that "stand behind" does not mean I will unwittingly accept anything this man does as "hope-alicious" or "change-tasty". I reserve the rest of my time for shameless mockery, riposting, and satire-to-the-point-of-poor-taste. But that doesn't mean I'm ready to leave the U.S. or bitch about Obama "not being my president". It's called losing with class. I'm a Nuggets fan and University of Michigan fan: I've had lots of practice.

Why I Didn't Vote

My name is Snowden, and I didn't vote for the President in 2008.

Let me start off by stating this is my own opinion and I'm not telling anyone to do anything other than what they want to do. I realize that many people believe their right to vote is the essence of what it means to be an American. If you are so convicted, please don't take my position to be an attack on your idea of America. I just happen to disagree with you (whoever you are) on what it means to be a citizen of this excellent nation.

Note that this isn't one of those anti-WTO psychotic "All parties are the same, man. It's the corporate fat-cats" ramblings. This is merely stating that I don't want either of these men, Sen. Obama or Sen. McCain, to be able to count my voice in support of their administrations.

----

A couple of quotes from great books and great men:

"The major problem -- one of the major problems, for there are several -- one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.

To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.

-- Douglas Adams, "The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe"

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellow men.

-- George MacDonald

The change, it had to come
We knew it all along
We were liberated from the fold, that's all
And the world looks just the same...
Meet the new boss,
Same as the old boss

.
--The Who, "Won't Get Fooled Again"

The Way Thomas Jefferson Envisioned It

So, just a brief survey of my Friends' Status Updates on Facebook provides:

-------

-- [Name] has never been more excited to cast a vote EVER.

-- [Name] is McCain/Palin!!!

-- [Name] voted for John McCain!!!

-- [Name] would like to remind all Democrats to vote on Nov. 5th!

-- [Name] is JMac, wtf? Why do you take up Wall Street Journal space to repeat all your campaign slogans (and bash Wall St.!)?

--[Name] knows if you vote for barack hussein obama, you will regret it.

-- [Name] just donated her status to get out the vote for Barack Obama on Nov 4.

------

Yep, that's what the Founding Fathers were hoping for back when they formed the Constitutional Convention. Heck, Facebook status updates might be my generation's Federalist and Anti-Federalist papers!

The Final Countdown, Part 1: Douthat v. Goldberg

Ba da daaaaa dummm, ba da dum dum dummm! *Chicken dance*

With the election soon to be over, I've been eagerly awaiting the much-anticipated Battle Royale on the Right about The Future of conservatism. I was waiting for rash finger-pointing and thoughtful introspection. My first treat came yesterday, three days early, and it's deliciously respectful and introspective.

I sat down to write about the bloggingheads.tv Revolving-Cage-O'-Death-Cagematch between The Atlantic's Ross Douthat and NRO's Jonah Goldberg, but it turned into a liveblog! (Well, its not a liveblog, per se, as it is a delayed broadcast, but it's live for me, and these reactions and summaries are all my own).

Let's face it: while BloggingHeads stuff is fun to watch, rarely do most of us get a chance to sit down and watch the whole thing, front to back. Most times we try and multi-task, minimizing the window, thus creating an audiotrack on our work computer (shame on us). Even then, though, I know we rarely get the gist of these always-meaty arguments with such skimpy attention skills. Well, that's where I come in.

I'm going to attempt to fuse together a sports-form, the liveblog, with the wonkiest of political discourses. It will contain immature and utterly unfounded assertions mixed in with my honest policy thoughts and responses. Hopefully they will be easy to separate, but no promises.

The main result at the end? I'm convinced that Goldberg is getting a nice kickback from Aquafina for his drinking habits.

-----

0:01 Goldberg already on the attack, as Douthat is caught unawares at the opening bell, starting with alarm at Goldberg's voice and squinting at his webcame. Not auspicious.

0:40 Some early snark on Chicago from both men. "Obama's done a bang up job. It's like Stockholm" -- Goldberg. /socialism-lolz

1:56 Some worry from Douthat about rioting if Obama loses, esp. in the case of a McCain electoral college win. Images from The Warriors, political pundit style, run through my head.

3:00- 7:30 Douthat stakes the claim that there is a fundamental weakness in GOP/conservativeland in regards to domestic policy. Small-government politicians are having a problem reaching voters. Douthat rejects the Limbaugh-ian claim that the reason for GOP defeats is a lack of "truly" conservative policies, that we've had an overserving of moderate gravy in the GOP potatoes, if you will. Douthat expresses fear that we'll have a polarizing fight in the Right, with some falling on the more populist side while others are more on the NY-DC elite side.

8:29 Douthat, while sipping from a styrofoam cup filled with gin*, admits to 'staggering drunkenly'** through his argument.

*I have no proof that this is true.
**He really did say this though.

8:41 Goldberg tells Douthat-the-whippersnapper to fear not, conservatives have way more fun with a Democrat in power anyways. It's unifying to be outside the fishbowl, according to Jonah, as we can all strategize on how to attack the castle of the establishment.

10:15 Goldberg calls himself the Rodney King of the Right. Not in the jacked-on-PCP-contra-the-cops kind of way, but rather in the "lets get along" kind of way.

11:00 Goldberg argues that conservativism isn't nearly as dogmatic as the Left likes to think, but rather conservatives are much more comfortable debating core concepts, while Leftists are settled on the theoretical basics and only talk about brute tactics.

12:05 Douthat says "hold on", and explains that his fear is more of a schism broken down on RedState/Hot Air vs. George Will/David Frum lines.

14:27 First Star Trek reference from Goldberg! Calls the NetRights' hysterics akin to discommendation ceremony in Klingon culture. Says the emotion is attributable to election crazes. (Interesting that the Right doesn't quite reach the hysterics of DailyKos. --S.)

15:08 Douthat is disspirited that Jonah didn't take the bait and pick a side in the fete-elite vs sticks-hicks fight: "Man, you're takin' the long view. Very wise of you." It looks like he was hoping Goldberg would put up a fight. Well, there goes his planned points for the next 15 minutes! Very taoist, Jonah.

15:30 TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES!!! EVERYBODY PANIC!! Also, CLOVERFIELD REFERENCES!!! RESUME PANIC!!!

16:26 Douthat feels that the worse the defeat of the GOP in '08, the more damage that can/will be done to America writ large. Also thinks that the McCain campaign has been "stumbling and flailing".

17:40 Goldberg talks about the difference between anti-state and anti-Left which is found in the differences between neoconservatives (the actual kind) and traditional conservatives. Irving Kristol, paterneocon-ias, has a legacy of talking about "conserv-a-tizing" the state rather than repudiating its expansion. Goldberg thinks Douthat and other "reform conservatives" have to reckon for their stance approving of such tactics in the face of abject failure during GWB's time in power.

17:51 Douthat takes his second slug of gin* from his styrofoam cup.

*Again, no real proof that it's actually gin.

19:54 Goldberg tries to create the hip new buzzword for Douthites and Brooksians, "Disraeliens". I think it lasts two weeks (sorry Jonah.)

20:01 Goldberg: "Bush is not an 'anti-state' conservative" + "measure of your politics is the meaure of your soul." = massive government programs. QED.

21:00 Limbaugh-types feel we've already given up so much, made so many concessions, and that's partly why they can't bring themselves to really get behind McCain. They feel strung along.

21:09 Douthat calls himself an "academic marxist of big government conservatism." That's an efficient use of political buzz terms!

21:58 Goldberg: lots of conservatives have "buyer's remorse over Bush."

23:01 Douthat "We have to account for the Bush administration." Feels it might be possible for Reform conservatives to do it on a case-by-case basis for individual programs. Also calls compassionate conservatism more soft-headed and liberal than how the original neo-cons talked.

24:11 First book-pimping, this one by Douthat. Will we have a Liberal Fascism sighting?

25:00 Douthat reminds us that Bush has been overwhelmingly successful in the Fight Against Homelessness. Maybe I'm too callous and libertarian minded, but I find such reasoning terribly underwhelming. I'm closer to a Mencken-esque "screw 'em all" mindset.

26:23 Douthat calls immigration reform the biggest "betrayal" of the conservative movement by GWB.

27:15 Douthat admits he's been rambling, but still reiterates that he's frustrated with the Rush-vs.-moderates model, finding it troubling for the future.

28:10 Contra "compassionate", Goldberg orders his convervatism "with smiting and wrath". He then attempts to headbutt his own webcam, either that or he's adjusting in his uncomfortable Holiday Inn chair.

28:20 Goldberg thinks its fools gold and wrong-headed to try and market conservatism as caring more about the "coalition of the oppressed." It's an unwinnable fight.

28:50 Douthat interrupts!! An egregious transgression! But he uses his scurillous maneuver to make a point that conservatives need to argue that the welfare-state, already presumed existent, isn't strongly biased against certain demographics.

29:28 Goldberg recovers and returns-fire with an Emerson quote about the stingy-but-yet-empirical nature of conservatism. We need to regain that empricism and realism, sez Goldberg. It needs to be able to say "mean facts."

30:31 Goldberg sips from an Aquafina bottle. The royalties from those sips probably finance his second-mansion in Fairbanks, Alaska.

31:30 Douthat maintains that the mainstream perception of the economy is much more dreary than we might remember, even in the so-called boom moments a few years back. Conservatives need to address that fact.

32:27 Third slug of gin* for Douthat.

*Possibly vodka? The styrofoam cup betrays no hints.

33:18 Both bemoan the demise of The Public Interest, the policy journal, and point out that it is greatly needed right now. I'm pretty political-nerdy and have all the policy-wonk baseball cards, and I only have a vague recollection of seeing that journal in the vast racks of journals at a D.C. Barnes and Noble... I think.

34:30 Goldberg paints himself as a "war profiteer" of intellectual battles. I have a funny image of a man smoking a large cigar in the back seat of a limo, grinning wildly at printouts showing his ideas are reaching all-time highs in term of popularity.

35:20 They move on to Sarah Palin. Goldberg thinks both Palin and Obama suffer/benefit from people's projecting their own views onto their respective personas, whether as Messiah or Communist, whether as Reagan-as-a-Hockey-Mom or Cynical-Ploy-for-Hillary-Grouches.

37:35 Douthat thinks anti-intellectualism is a big problem for Republicans at the moment.

38:15 Goldberg is like "WTF? Since when did the Vice President really matter?"

38:55 Jonah thinks some of the treatment of Palin has injured the critics unto total discreditment. I'm not alone in thinking that he's hinting at Andrew Sullivan, I bet. That is if Goldberg even thinks about that guy anymore.

39:45 Goldberg: Noonan and Brooks types are calling Palin "George W. Bush in a dress." That is a very unattractive mental image.

40:45 Another sip of Aquafina for Goldberg, another five-figure check in the Swiss account.

41:23 Sip o' gin* from styrofoam cup for Douthat. He needs to get a product-placement deal like Goldberg clearly has.

*Maybe it's gin. We might never know.

42:05 Douthat: "We need to admit that Palin gave a bad interview to Couric, but there is undoubtedly some over-reacting on the part of some on our side to her nomination.

43:00 Goldberg and Douthat both bemoan the loss of off-the-record conversations and after-speech soirees since there are bloggers and HuffPo writers at every single event. You can drink with me, fellas. You can tell me all about your deep-seated interests in Russian ballet, Gilmore Girl DVD collections, and love for Veg-a-mite. Or whatever.

44:00 Goldberg predicts that Palin will come around in the future and prove her critics both wrong and idiotic.

45:30 Douthat points out Palin has a chance to be more popular than Huckabee since she'll have both his demographic as well as the "talk-radio" group.

46:18 Douthat claims that Palin also needs to assuage some of the conservative intelligentsia in some form or another, if only to attract the "radical center" types who are influenced by Atlantic-types of magazine.

47:00 Douthat: "Palin isn't like Dan Quayle." That's comforting.

47:55 Douthat is flustered by Goldberg's detachment from the election. Goldberg admits he's "friggin' exhausted."

48:25 Douthat summarizes that: over the GWB administrations, Goldberg has moved more to the "right" on domestic issues while Douthat admits he's moved to a more realist and "crypto-paleo-con" position in foreign policy. Douthat asks Goldberg: where have you shifted on foreign policy?

50:30 Goldberg replies that his theories of "liberal imperialism" are still strong, but he is more wary of the means with which such goals are achieved. He rejects the Weekly Standard hawkishness, drawing as an example that their raber-sattling, er, saber-rattling over fighting China early this decade was "outrageously irresponsible."

51:50 Douthat drops a Harvard reference. You can't go an hour with an alum without hearing about their time in Cambridge. (I kid, I kid. It's Michigan-alum-jealous-snark, I promise.)

53:00 Goldberg points out that the Iraq War and Afghanistan have proven how hard it can be to "do good in the world". Goldberg says that "if we could afford to bring Africa out of poverty, we should do it."

54:40 The past few years have increased Douthat's respect for Reagan's skillful foreign-policy maneuvers, threading the gap between idealism and realism/pragmatism.

55:10 I'm going to take this moment to point out that one of the two of them is right next to an airport, my guess being Jonah. How do I know this creepy-stalker tidbit? 'Cuz we've had like 5 fly-bys that have broken the reverie around the august discussion.

56:50 Goldberg and Douthat agree: the first Gulf War contributed to our 2000's problems in Iraq. We had a "cakewalk" in 1991, and we could have enjoyed much more international support for nation-building back then as well.

58:00 Goldberg I think summarizes a lot of conservatives' frustration with the GWB administration by saying to Douthat (paraphrase): Just as your beliefs in an accomodating and conservative-friendly Big Government have been discredited by GWB's policies over the past 8 years, so too he has done with foreign policy, especially if The Surge hadn't worked so well.

59:15 Goldberg never cared too much for the WMD-argument for Iraq, Douthat thinks that the religious-voter "Iraq was 'just'" argument is overplayed, and that he wishes we had had more prudence in 2003.

61:50 Both the gentlemen have no sympathy for the idea that the Iraq War was anything less than a purely bipartisan affair. Douthat: "There were a lot of people who thought the war was a good idea."

62:42 Yet another Goldberg sip from the Aquafina bottle. Goldberg +$10,000

63:50 Both stick their heads right next to their webcams for a very brief stare-down. No punches were thrown.

---FIN---

Detroit: 60 to 0 in 30 years

Rock solid post on Chicago Boyz about left-ish economic policies and the decline of Detroit. I think the poster steals an intellectual base or two, but there are a few unarguables, IMO, that can be taken away:

- Detroit collapsed. Crashed. 'Sploded. Ceased to exist. The numbers from CBz are staggering. Back in 1950, roughly 35% of the world's GNP was produced in the Minnesota-Pennsylvania corridor. That's more than anything you currently see in SE China. Just 30 years later the region was a blighted "Rust Belt".

- Unions choked their golden goose. Through their anti-modernizing and anti-competition policies, UAW (as an example) managed to force the Big Three into untenable pensions and exorbitant salaries, which in turn made the automakers cut back in quality and innovation in production.

- The creeping statism of the Left. As a guy who's grown up in Texas and Colorado, two of the more libertarian anti-union states in the US, it was astonishing to see the size of governmental bureaucracy in Michigan. Whether it's a ridiculous bottle deposit scheme or the constant bombardment of "public service" announcements from the state government on how to "be healthy", the left's view of government creates a culture of enfeebled citizenry, men and women dependent upon state officials for welfare, direction, and instruction.

As a cautionary note to those conservatives who see the prospect of disaster in Obama's administration as a chance to rebirth freedom-based policies, look at Michigan. Although the state is a walking billboard for the inadequacies of Left economic policies, the state Democratic party has been able to stay in power by blaming Republicans. Jennifer Granholm, by any standard of judgment, should not be in power, but 2006 was able to retain her governorship by claiming that, hundreds of thousands of jobs lost not withstanding, she was merely trying to recover from the disastrous GOP policies of the 90's.

A word to the wise is sufficient...

*Format Change*

Okay, I've been running with this "View From The Top" style for about 6 weeks, I think, and I've decided to change it up. It dawned on me yesterday afternoon, when I saw some old man walking down my street with two gigantic Sunday-edition papers under his arm. I thought to myself, "Geez, there's no way he can read all that. Why does he even lug it around?"

While it might be nice to see a dossier-style update in the morning with your coffee, it's bulky and unwieldy, and really just mimicing a format (an "actual" newspaper).

So, I'm breaking up the Views From The Top into individual links. Hopefully this allows me to add more content to the site. I also hope to start using tags, pain in the netherparts though they be.

Actual newsposts and comments to come.

That is all.