Don King On The Huffington Post

Egads.



Really, I'm left snark-less. I can't top this:

To my fellow Americans who can't accept a black man as President, as the great grandson of former slaves, I want you to know that I am empathetic, sympathetic and commiserate with your predicament. I understand very well that after more than three centuries of being taught, conditioned and indoctrinated to see the black man as your inferior, it is unrealistic to think that now you can just change to respect him. That's easier said than done.

I wracked my brain for an hour this morning, trying to add my own twist to this man's post. Nothing. What's a guy supposed to do when he faces this?

We are living in a time when custom and tradition has grown to a new level of elevation and progress. Let freedom ring, Barack Obama, from every hill, every dell, every nook and cranny of America, let freedom ring throughout every state, every city and every ghetto of this great land. Innovative and imaginative thinking is an idea whose time has come.

The man uses my mother tongue like he's Franz Kline on a 6 day patchouli bender. (Hah, I knew I could do it!)

Mr. King also ends up channeling an LRH-eqsue patter, then swerves across the median into a head-on with a St. John the Apostle reference. Watch how quickly it hits you:

We are caught up in an inescapable network of mutuality. What effects one directly, effects all indirectly. We must eradicate the slave master mentality or capitalism without rights. It is unjust. We must believe there is something in the universe that evolves for justice. Martin Luther King Jr. called it "cosmic companionship."

The world is watching American history in the making, live and in living color. We've taken an important step in the right direction by electing Barack Obama as the President of the United States. America and the world will never be the same again. I believe our country will be transformed into that New Jerusalem John saw on the island of Patmos. A New America transformed from a land of hypocrisy, bigotry, discrimination and divisiveness to an oasis of unity, liberty and freedom. We will enjoy a new respect for the human personality and a divine love for humanity.

Don King's writing is like an out-of-control skiier who manages to barely pass through each gate: a bizarre, near-disastrous, and ultimately victorious effort that leaves all witnesses wondering what-in-God's-name did they just see.

RTWT, but only if you want to be inspired to write your own rambling-yet-strangely-coherent magnum opus.